Controlling Toddlers

This section is titled controlling toddlers.  They can be controlled.  It just has to be indirectly because toddlers are going to do exactly what toddlers are going to do.  So, to control them, we must manipulate them to want to do what we want them to do.  Fortunately, almost all of the time, we are smarter than the toddlers.  So, it is possible.  There are many ways that we can manipulate toddlers to do what we want.  In this section, we are going to focus on three:

1. Place & Distract
2. Playing
3. Bribery

These three methods are the primary ways we control toddlers.  We use them separately or in concert with each other.  We sometimes do things that don’t fall into these three categories, but 90% of what we do does.  As I mentioned in the previous section, there are many photographers that have given up on controlling toddlers, we haven’t.  We do it everyday.  If you follow the techniques outlined in this section, you’ll be able to too.  Before we get into the three categories, I’d first like to emphasize the importance of moving quickly.

Move Quickly

With everything that you do with toddlers, you should be moving quickly.  If you’re playing with them and jumping back to get the picture, you’re moving quickly.  If you’re posing and then reposing and then reposing, you should be quick about it.  Toddlers’ smiles are fleeting.  You’ve got to be able to amuse the child and quickly put some distance between you and the child so you don’t distort them with a low mm. 

If you are slow-moving or completely uncoordinated, you should probably stop reading now and not do this.  Almost everything you do with a toddler is in fast motion.  They don’t stay in position very long.  They don’t smile very long.  They have short attention spans. 

I’m even talking about how you move your equipment or furniture around.  Know that the toddler you’re working with has a short window of opportunity that they are in a good mood for a limited time.  You shouldn't ever be sauntering around at a slow pace.  Almost everything should be in high-speed.

Manipulation Strategy #1:  Place & Distract

This is likely the most common strategy that we use to get toddlers to do what we want them to do.  The parent will place him where we want him; whether it’s him standing in a certain place or sitting in a chair or laying on his belly.  The key is that, AS the parent is placing him, you’re already starting to distract him. 

We begin distracting him primarily with noises.  The noises we make are usually low, building tones that get his attention.  For example, as the parent places a child sitting on a couch, we will say immediate start using tones that will distract the child.  We’re basically trying to get the child from realizing that he doesn’t want to be in that position anymore.  Usually, the baby’s thinking will be, “Okay, I’m now sitting.  This is now boring, I want to get down from here.”  Instead, we want them thinking, “Okay, I’m now sitting.  This is now bori...wait, what’s that?  What’s he doing?  That is silly!  I think that’s really funny!  I’m now laughing!  Wait, where am I?” 

Usually, we are using low, building tones that are more effective at distracting than high-pitched, soft tones.  They have heard low tones from mom before and they recognize that it’s something that they should pay attention to.

We also distract with toys.  So, when a toddler is being placed, we will be right there and give them a toy.  Again, we are trying to distract their brains from thinking that they don’t want to be sitting there anymore.  If you’re right there and hand them a ball while they are being placed, their brains will be side-tracked into just thinking about the toy - not where they are or what position they are in.

Manipulation Strategy #2:  Playing

The second thing we do to manipulate a toddler to do what we want is to play with them in a strategic way.  There are a hundred ways to do this.  I’m going to illustrate a few different ways that we use play to manipulate toddlers into doing what we want them to do.

1. Placing the toy where we want them to go.  Say we want them to sit on a couch.  Naturally, we could place the toy on the couch where they need to climb up on the couch to get to it.  Once they get there, while they are playing with the toy, we position them and cross their feet.  After a second of playing with it, we gently take it from them, tickle their belly with it and jump back with the toy and take the picture.  NOTE:  If you ever have a toy in your hand when you take a picture, the toy needs to be by the camera lens.
2. Playing peek-a-boo with a toy.  Imagine we want the child to stand on the couch with their arms on the armrest.  To get them to be in that position, we could take the toy that they are interested in and hold it just out of sight (perhaps play peek-a-boo with it a little) behind the armrest so they want to lean over and look for it.  When they get to the spot we want, we reveal the toy, bonk them on the head and jump back and take the picture.
3. Helping them understand that, if they get in a certain position, they will get to play with a toy.  By the time toddlers are close to two years old, they begin to understand the quid-pro-quo situations.  In other words, they realize that, “If I do this, I’ll get that.”  Often, we get them into the position we want by only playing with them in that position.  For example, they get to throw the ball to us if they sit in the chair.  Or, they can roll the ball back and forth if they are on their belly.  Or, we’ll let them play with the stuffed animal if they stand in the ‘spot’ for a second.  Once they’re in the spot, it’s easy to amuse them enough to look and smile.
4. Making them interested in something.  We can make a toddler interested in something for a few seconds.  A few seconds is all that we need.  Getting them interested in something could mean that we simply tap on something in a way that makes them want to tap on it too.  This could be a button on a couch or a rivet on a wall.  The trick is to get away while they try it and be in a position to get a picture.  It may be simply stomping our feet on a spot on the ground.  Again, the trick is to get the interested in something long enough for us to get in position.

Manipulation Strategy #3:  Bribery

As mentioned, toddlers start to understand the ‘if I do that, I will get this.’  We’ve already discussed that we do this with toys.  We also do it with treats.  Specifically, we use fruit snacks.  We try not to bring up treats too early in a session.  It’s something that helps us keep the child engaged and willing to participate a little bit longer when they are getting bored, frustrated with the session.

Usually, I will promise to give them a treat if they will do something by showing them the package of treats.  When they can actually see the treats, they now are more willing to participate and get in a position.  Once they’re in position, we use our expression-getting techniques to get them to forget about the treats for a second and be amused by us.  Toddlers’ short attention spans can work for us too.

Sometimes, I’ll give them the package of treats so they can handle them and feel like they’re getting close to getting them.  They, of course, can’t open the package yet so they can just fondle the package.  I’ll use the package of treats by gently taking it from them and balance it on my head or something to, again, briefly amuse them long enough to take a picture.

Once that’s all ran its course, I’ll start giving them treats - one at a time.  It basically becomes like dog-training at that point.  If they perform a trick (sitting or standing or laying in a specific place) they’ll get a treat.